#61: JONES, Terry: Monty Python's Life Of Brian (1979)

JONES, Terry (United Kingdom)

Monty Python's Life Of Brian [1979]

Spine #61
DVD
OOP

After slaying the Arthurian legend in their now classic Holy Grail, the Pythons set their sights on the Greatest Story Ever Told. Blind faith, virgin birth, crucifixion — nothing is sacred in this epic send-up of ancient times, which draws on the cornball biblical blockbusters of the 1950s to lampoon celebrity culture in any era. Criterion has gathered the guilty parties — including John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin — for two commentary tracks as provocative and hilarious as the film itself. Available for the first time in a 16:9 enhanced transfer, Monty Python's Life of Brian can finally be viewed in all its — ahem — glory.

94 minutes
Color

Stereo

1:85:1 aspect ratio

Criterion Release 1999

Director/Writers

Written by Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones and Michael Palin.

Jones was 37 when he directed Monty Python's Life of Brian.

The Film

“Well, what is myrrh anyway?”

The song over the title credits:

“Brian” by André Jacquemin and Dave Howman

Lyrics by Palin

Arranged by Trevor Jones

Sung by Sonia Jones

(in the torch-singing style of the songs which opened Bond films!)

“Brian / The babe they called Brian / He grew / Grew, grew and grew / Grew up to be / Grew up to be / A boy called Brian / A boy called Brian / He had arms and legs / And hands and feet / This boy / Whose name was Brian / And he grew / Grew, grew and grew / Grew up to be / Yes, he grew up to be / A teenager called Brian / A teenager called Brian / And his face became spotty / Yes, his face became spotty / And his voice dropped down low / And things started to grow / On young Brian and show / He was certainly no / No girl named Brian / Not a girl named Brian / And he started to shave / And have one off the wrist / And want to see girls / And go out and get pissed / A man called Brian / This man called Brian / The man they called Brian / This man called / Bri - / Aah!”

Supertitles: “Judea A.D. 33 / Saturday afternoon / About tea time”

“Speak up! / Shh. Quiet, Mum. / Well, I can’t hear a thing. Let’s go to the stoning. / Shhh! / we can go to a stoning anytime. / Oh, come on, Brian. / Will you be quiet? / Don’t pick your nose. / I wasn’t picking my nose. I was scratching. / You was picking it, while you were talking to that lady. / I wasn’t. / Leave it alone. Give it a rest. / Do you mind? I can’t a word he’s saying. / Don’t you ‘do you mind’ me! I was talking to my husband. / Well, go and talk to him somewhere else. I can’t hear a bloody thing. / Don’t you swear at my wife. / I was only asking her to shut up so we can hear what he’s saying, Big Nose. / Don’t you call my husband ‘Big Nose.’ / Well, he has got a big nose. / Could you be quiet, please? / What was that? / I don’t know; I was too busy talking to Big Nose. / I think it was ‘Blessed are the cheese makers.’ / What’s so special about the cheese makers? / Well, obviously, it’s not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturer of dairy products. / See, if you hadn’t been going on, we’d have heard that, Big Nose. / Hey! Say that once more, I’ll smash your bloody face in. / Better keep listening. Might be a bit about, ‘Blessed are the Big Noses.’ / Oh, lay off him. / Oh, you’re not so bad yourself, Conch Face. / Where are you two from, Nose City? / One more time, mate. I’ll take; you to the fuckin’ cleaners! / Language! And don’t pick your nose. / I wasn’t gonna pick my nose. I was gonna thump him! / Hear that? ‘Blessed are the Greek.’ / The Greek? / Well, apparently, he’s going to inherit the earth. / Did anyone catch his name? / You’re not gonna thump anybody. / I’ll thump him if he calls me ‘Big Nose’ again. / Oh, shut up, Big Nose. / Oh! Right. I warned you. / I really will slug you so hard — / Oh, it’s the meek! / ‘Blessed are the meek’! / Oh, that’s nice, isn’t it? I’m glad they’re getting something, ‘cause they have a hell of a time. / Listen, I’m only telling the truth. You have got a very big nose. / Hey, your nose is gonna be three foot wide across your face by the time I finish with you! / Shhh! / Who hit yours then? Goliath’s big brother? / Oh. Right. That’s your last warning. / Oh, do pipe down.”

“Now look! No one is to stone anyone … until I blow this whistle. Do you understand? Even — and I want to make this absolutely clear — even if they do say ‘Jehovah.’”

“Oh, here’s a touch. Spare a talent* for an old ex-leper? / Buzz off! / Spare a talent for an old ex-leper? / A talent? That’s more than he earns in a month! / Half a talent, then. / Now, go away! / Come on, Big Nose, let’s haggle. / What? / Say you open at one shekel. I start at 2,000. We close about 1,800. / No. / 1,750? / Go away! / 1,740? / Will you leave him alone? / All right, two shekels. Isn’t this fun, eh? / Look, he’s not giving you any money, so piss off! / All right. half a shekel for an old ex-leper? / Did you say ‘ex-leper’? / Sixteen years behind the bell, and proud of it, sir. / Well, what happened? / I were cured, sir. / Cured? / Yes, a bloody miracle, sir, God bless you. / Well, who cured you? / Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business. All of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute, I’m a leper with a trade; next minute, my livelihood’s gone. No so much as a ‘by your leave’ … ‘you’re cured, mate.’ Bloody do-gooder. / Well, why don’t you go and tell him that you want to be a leper again? / I could do that sir. Yeah, I could do that, I suppose. I was going to ask him if he’s make me a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which is a pain in the ass, to be blunt; excuse my French, sir … / Brian! Come and clean your room out! / [Brian gives him a coin.] / There you are. / Thank you, sir. Thank — / Half a denary? Me bloody life story. / There’s no pleasing some people. / That’s just what Jesus said, sir.”

*a talent would be approximately the amount of gold equal to the weight of a person!

“You mean you were raped? / Well, at first, yes. / Who was it? / Naughtius Maximus, his name was.”

“I’m a kike, a Yid, a hebe, a hook-nose! I’m kosher, Mum! I’m a Red Sea pedestrian, and proud of it!”

Supertitles: “The Colosseum, Jerusalem / [a decapitated body is hauled away] / Children’s Matinee”

A food vender: “Lark’s tongues. Wren’s livers. Chaffinch brains. Jaguars’ earlobes. Wolf’s nipple chips. Get ‘em while they’re hot. They’re lovely.”

John Cleese once taught Latin …

[Brian is caught painting graffiti] / “What’s this then? ‘Romanes eunt domus? People called Romanes, they go the house’? / It … it says ‘Romans, go home.’ / No, it doesn’t. What’s Latin for ‘Roman’? Come on! / ‘Romanes’? / Goes like? / ‘Annus’? / Vocative plural of ‘annus’ is? / ‘Anni’? / ‘Romani.’ … ‘Eunt’? What is ‘eunt’? / ‘Go.’ / Conjugate the verb ‘to go.’ / ‘Ire, eo, is, it, imus, itis, eunt.’ / So ‘eunt’ is? / Third person plural, present indicative. ‘They go.’ / But ‘Romans, go home’ is an order, so you must use the — / The imperative. / Which is? / Um, oh, oh, ‘i.’ / How many Romans? / Aah! Plural, plural. / ‘Ite.’ / ‘Ite.’ … ‘Domus’? Nominative? ‘Go home.’ This is motion towards, isn’t it, Brian? / Dative! / [Cleese puts a sword to Brian’s throat] … / No, not dative! Accusative, accusative! ‘Domum,’ sir. ‘Ad domum.’ / Except when ‘domus’ takes the — / the Locative, sir. / Which is? / ‘Domum.’ / ‘Domum.’ / ‘Um.’ Understand? / Yes, sir. / Now, write it out 100 times. / Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir. / Hail Caesar. If it’s not done by sunrise, I’ll cut your balls off.”

“And what have the Romans ever given us in return? / The aqueduct. / What? / The aqueduct. / Oh yeah, yeah. They did give us that. / And the sanitation. / Oh yeah, the sanitation, Reg. Remember what the city used to be like? / Yeah, all right, I’ll grant you, the aqueduct and sanitation are two things the Romans have done. / And the roads. / Well, obviously the roads. I mean, the roads go without saying, don’t they? But apart from the sanitation, the aqueduct and the roads — / Irrigation. / Medicine. / Education. / Yeah, all right. Fair enough. / And the wine. / Yeah, that’s something we’d really miss, Reg, if the Romans left. / Public baths. / And it’s safe to walk in the streets at night. / Yeah, they certainly like to keep order. They’re the only ones who could in a place like this. / All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?”

“What was his name? / ‘Naughtius Maximus.’ / [Cleese’s Centurion laughs] / Centurion, do you have anyone of that name in the garrison? / Well, no, sir. / Well, you sound very sure. Have you checked? / Well, no, sir. I think it’s a joke, sir … like, uh, ‘Silius Soddus’ or ‘Biggus Dickus,’ sir. / What’s funny about ‘Biggus Dickus’? / Well, it’s a joke name, sir. / I have a very great friend in Rome called Biggus Dickus.”

[Terry Jones singing Hava Nagila after 18 years of silence.]

1:08:49: George Harrison!

[crucifixion scene]: “Up you go, Big Nose! / I’ll get you for this, you bastard. / Oh, yeah? / Oh, yeah. Don’t worry. I never forget a face. / No? / I warn you, I’m gonna punch you so hard, you Roman git! / Shut up, you Jewish turd! / Who are you calling Jewish? I’m not Jewish! I’m a Samaritan! / A Samaritan? This is supposed to be a Jewish section. / It doesn’t matter. You’re all gonna die in a day or two! / It may not matter to you, Roman, but it certainly matters to us, doesn’t it, darling? / Oh, rather! / Under the terms of the Roman occupancy, we’re entitled to be crucified in a purely Jewish area. / Pharisees separate from Sadducees. / And Swedish separate from Welsh! / All right, all right, all right. We’ll soon settle this. / Hands up all those who don’t want to be crucified here. / [grunting, unable to raise their hands] / Right, Next! / [Terry Jones is getting nailed to a cross] … Is he Jewish? We don’t any more Samaritans around here”

“Some things in life are bad / They can really make you mad. / Other things make you swear and curse. / When you’re chewing on life’s gristle / Don’t grumble — give a whistle / And this’ll help things turn out for the best / And … always look on the bright side of life / Always look on the light side of life / If life seems jolly rotten / there’s something you’ve forgotten / and that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing / when you’re feeling in the dumps / don’t be silly chumps / just purse your lips and whistle, that’s the thing / and always look on the bright side of life / Come on! / always look on the bright side of life / for life is quite absurd / and death’s the final word / you must always face the curtain with a bow / forget about your sin / give the audience a grin / enjoy it, it’s your last chance anyhow / so always look on the bright side of death / just before you draw your terminal breath / life’s a piece of shit / when you look at it / life’s a laugh and death’s a joke, it’s true / you’ll see it’s all a show / people laughing as you go / just remember that the last laugh is on you / and always look on the bright side of life / always look on the right side of life / Come on, Brian. Cheer up. / Always look on the bright side of life / always look on the right side of life / Worse things happen at sea, you know? / Always look on the bright side of life / What have you got to lose? You come from nothing. / You go back to nothing. What have you lost? Nothing! / Always look on the right side of life / Nothing will come from nothing. You know what they say? / Always look on … cheer up, you old bugger. / Give us a grin. There you are. / See? It’s the end of the film. Incidentally, this record’s available in the foyer. / Who do you think pays for all this rubbish? / I told him. I said to him, ‘Bernie, they’ll never make their money back.” [Eric Idle]

“If you have enjoyed this film, why not go and see La Notte (1961)?” (dir: Antonioni; Spine #678)

Film Rating (0-60):

57

The Extras

The Booklet

Six-panel wraparound featuring an essay by George Perry.

“Great comedy cannot be confined within normally accepted boundaries of taste and sensitivity. The essence of the Pythons was that they were always ready to take on formidable, daunting subjects that others might find too dangerous to contemplate. The idea for Life of Brian seems to have sprung from a remark by Eric Idle during a promotional tour for Monty Python and the Holy Grail. When asked what the Pythons’ next film project would be, he snapped back: ‘Jesus Christ — Lust for Glory.’ As far as taste was concerned, the Pythons could hardly outdo Cecil B. DeMille and his various onslaughts on the good book.”

Commentary

• Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle and Terry Jones

Idle: “There were lots of sketches written in the sort of feeling the range and finding where we should be; there was some very funny stuff, if I remember, about them trying to book a room for The Last Supper, and the guy couldn’t do a table for 13; he could do a table for five, and a table for eight in the corner …”

• John Cleese and Michael Palin

Cleese: “I remember that there some discussions about who we should get to play Jesus Christ, and, although in retrospect, I was wrong, and it was absolutely right to have Kenneth Colley play Jesus Christ, I had originally suggested that we should have George Lazenby do it, because I thought that on the poster to have the words ‘and George Lazenby as Jesus Christ’ would be something that people would treasure for at least the next millenium.”

Five deleted scenes

With audio commentary by the Pythons.

• Sheep

Definitely the funniest of these deleted scenes. Palin, Jones and Idle are shepherds discussing the various delights and drawbacks of the sheep species (Ovis aries) … “they’re quite quick-witted.”

• “Is it A.D. yet?
• Quarter-past.

• Pilate’s Wife
• A continuation of the kidnapping plan. In this scene, they succeed, but Pilate’s wife is played by John Case, a huge fellow with massive fake tits.
• Otto
• What’s the most offensive thing possible to do in this film? Hey, let’s combine the Star of David with a swastika … that’ll be funny … plus they’re a suicide squad.
• The Pythons did a lot of research for this film. One wonders if they got around to Masada.
• Although this scene was cut, the squad shows up at the end, during the crucifixion scene to commit suicide, then tap their feet along with Eric Idle’s song …

• The Sign That Is The Sign
• Which is a silly-walks dance on top of a large mesa. Otto and his squad are on hand to try a punch line …

• Souvenir Shop
• Palin tries to sell a couple of crosses … one slightly damaged.

Various Pythons provide commentary.

Four original British radio ads

Palin’s dentist and the mums of Idle, Gilliam and Cleese promote the film.

The Pythons

Documentary film, shot on location during the making of Life of Brian.

The thing one learns about the behind-the-scenes interviews is that these guys aren’t really very funny without a script. 

Theatrical trailer

Extras Rating (0-40):

36

57 + 36 =

93

By Director
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